"Russian brides" scam in online dating
Suppose you got a message from a Russian, Ukrainian girl, or any girl that pretends to be from western Europe, Africa, or Asia on a dating website. In that case, you should definitely read this because this might be a scam, and you can lose your nerves and fortune.
Read this if:
- A Russian babe wrote to you
- You are exchanging messages with a hot lady from Eastern Europe.
- One of the girls asked you for money
- You are active on dating websites
The scam is called the „Russian bride” and costs men even thousands of dollars.
This scam takes place in popular dating APPs and sites like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, pof.com, match.com, Zoosk, okcupid.com, or online dating sites specializing in finding Russian and Ukrainian brides dating site.
The most common scenario:
A man logs into his dating account and gets a message from a beautiful Russian girl. A message which is usually grammatically incorrect. It’s full of compliments and admiration for the guy.
They start to exchange messages and the girl quickly falls in love, claiming she’s so lucky that she found someone like him. She starts planning a trip to visit him so she asks him for money for a visa and passport, sometimes for a plane ticket. This might cost 150 - 2000 $.
After he sends her the money she asked for, a girl starts having some kind of trouble. She finds out that she still needs money for something, so she cannot come unless he sends her more money. She assures him that this is the only obstacle standing in a way to true love.
Then a girl writes about new obstacles stopping her from her flight, asking for another bank transfer, but of course, she is still in love, etc.
That’s the “Russian bride” way.
Stages of scam
To give you a more detailed description so you could see what to expect, I divided the scam into 4 stages:
- The first contact - a girl sends her first message
- Conversation and getting to know one another
- Request for money
- Getting as much money as she can
Let’s start from the beginning, i.e. her first email...
First contact
Where can you expect a message from a Russian girl?
On all kinds of dating-related websites, where men search for women.
Russian girls are the majority in Russian dating sites where girls allegedly search for a husband from abroad.
How does your first encounter look like?
- It’s usually a female that makes the first step.
- She requests to answer her via email, not the website. She claims that she rarely logs in or makes up another excuse. The real reason is that most of the dating sites block string messages. A fraudster sends an email to the biggest amount of men. If the girl’s account gets frozen in a short period, she’s a 100 % fraudster.
- A girl writes that she’s attracted to the guy. Usually, she floods him with compliments. He gets such messages not having any profile image or description, so they’re obviously a scam. What would possibly be interesting in an empty profile? Fraudsters never care about a man’s profile anyway. They send the same message to everyone. So don’t feel special 😉
- Sometimes a girl informs you she will be communicating with you in English (you live in Poland for example) because she doesn’t speak a local language. So she doesn’t understand the language in which a guy’s profile is written but she’s interested in him anyway?
- A message is grammatically incorrect and it looks like it was written using the Google translator.
- She writes a lot of general compliments, not referring in any way to the person they’re addressed.
- According to her profile image, she is very attractive.
If a fraudster’s victim writes back, she starts to lure him in further emails…
Exchange of emails, seduction & making you fall in love with her
A Russian girl’s messages are getting more and more intimate. She falls in love within a month to six months. The next thing she wants is to come over to her beloved man’s country. Usually, she cannot afford it though…
What can you expect in this stage:
- A girl does not answer most of your questions, she writes long, sentimental emails instead.
- If she finally answers any of your questions, she usually does it at the beginning of the end of her email.
- Sometimes she answers only standard questions, like how was her day at work, and requests, e.g. her family’s photos.
- At this stage, a girl usually refuses to talk over the phone or Skype. She explains that she doesn’t have a cell phone or it’s broken.
- Her messages become more and more intimate.
- She sends her half-naked photos or reminisces about her erotic fantasies that he’s had about the guy.
- She says that she keeps having erotic dreams and asks him what he likes in bed.
- She sends photos of her friends, family, dog or other pet
- She is very romantic and gives a guy loads of compliments
- She claims that she has never searched for love this way
- She writes that Russian men are horrible, they cheat and beat up their women, stay drunk all day and think of sex most of the time.
- She introduces herself as a woman who cherishes a family and is very faithful.
- She writes about infinite trust, which is crucial between two people to make true love happen. Asks him if he feels the same (she will further use it when asking for money)
- She puts poetry in her emails
- She writes about a friend who married a guy from abroad so she is the luckiest girl in the world.
- She calls a guy her sunshine, future husband, fairy tale prince, best friend.
- She writes that she cannot sleep, imaging their first encounter (suggesting a guy to offer her to come over)
- She has a job but she cannot afford her trip cause she spends all her money on bills, medication for her mom, or loan. The reasons can be various, they’re just an excuse not to visit him.
She refuses to talk on the phone or Skype
- Whenever a guy asks if he can call her, she usually ignores it
- When a guy keeps asking constantly, she often makes up a reason
- She allegedly works e.g. in a beauty store, building company, children’s hospital, or as a teacher. She will create an excuse for why she cannot talk, e.g. all of her money goes for her parents’ medication.
- She writes that her cell phone is broken or stolen, she often asks for money so she can buy a new one and talk to the guy regularly.
- She won’t Skype because she sends all her emails from her friend’s computer or while she’s at work.
- She agrees to call from her friend’s cell phone, but she never picks up (it’s understandable since it belongs to the friend).
- She wants to call you first, but when you call her, she doesn’t answer or the phone is busy. She will make up a reason later.
She shares one of the very sad stories from her past:
- Her father had left before she was born so was raised by her mom
- She comes from a very poor family but she is hardworking
- Her father died in an accident
- She was raised by her grandmother because her parents had been killed
A girl falls in love:
- She says that she felt something extraordinary to the guy, and she fell in love with him
- Some Russian girls start to fake their feelings after a month. Some of them wait six months or a year. A fraudster knows that the longest she waits, the more credible she sounds and there’s a bigger chance to squeeze money from the guy.
- She often reminds him that her 2-week vacation is coming up, so they could finally meet.
100% fraud alert:
If you come across one of the situations below, this must be a fraud.
She doesn’t answer most of your questions or answers them at the beginning of the end of her email, never in the middle. This way she can easily fit her answer to a ready sample email which she sends to all of her victims.
A fraudster sends messages to many guys, that’s why she usually doesn’t answer individual questions. Instead, she’s sending very sentimental emails assuring them about her love.
She won’t talk on the phone or via Skype
A girl usually calls only in the final stage of her fraud, when a victim has doubts about sending her money. At first, she dodges calls because that would be just a waste of time for her.
She says that she doesn’t own a cell phone because she cannot afford it.
She refuses to Skype claiming that she doesn’t have enough money for the Internet.
Let’s think...
Does that make sense?
A girl is beautiful, she could be a model, so she should afford a photo taken by a professional, and she cannot even afford the Internet?
She calls you, but she won’t answer your calls
Fraud calls many victims. But if she answered all incoming calls, she wouldn’t know who is she talking to and what to say to each of them.
She uses different names in her emails and her dating profile.
No explanation is needed. If a fraudster talks to many victims at once, she sometimes uses a name different from the one she introduced herself with in the first message.
If you have noticed or experienced any of the above schemes, you can be sure that she’s a 100 % fraudster.
IMPORTANT NOTICE!
Remember that not all fraudsters talk to dozens of victims every day.
Some of them choose a more individual strategy. They write to a small group of men to get more money. They answer men’s questions in detail and even hire a girl to talk to them on the phone or Skype. Such fraudsters are hard to unveil because they seem much more reliable. Their seduction scheme is very similar, though.
In general, the pattern of all scams is always the same at the end – a request for money…
A request for money
At this stage, a Russian girl reaches her final goal which is squeezing money from her victim, without the slightest intention to meet him in person.
Usually, a guy asks first if they ever get to meet each other, and if not, a girl will suggest it anyway.
What to expect in this stage:
- A girl says that she wants to come over but she cannot afford the trip so she asks him for help.
- When a guy agrees to her visit, she keeps updating him about her preparations for the trip. She sends him copies of the documents, passport, and visa which she has arranged. Everything is paid from her expenses. At the last moment, she says that she needs just a couple of hundred of $ which she must pay to the agency within a specific deadline. If she won’t do it, she will go to jail because she already signed a contract. She assures him that this is the only difficulty that stands in her way.
- She may also write that she burnt all the bridges, quit her job, or stopped renting her apartment. And if he won’t send her money, she won’t have a place to stay and work.
- A girl may also ask for money for a passport and visa in the first place (150 $), and later she will ask for more (1500 $ for her plane ticket).
- A girl might say that she doesn’t know how to arrange her trip but she will try to find out. Later she announces wonderful news – she found out how to get her visa. She seems very excited. She is going to tell him how much money and what kind of documents she needs.
- Another scenario is that the agency will arrange all the documents she needs. If the guy will offer to buy her a ticket, she will make up a reason to use the agency.
- A girl will ask for a money transfer via Western Union or Money Gram, claiming that the agency must be paid in cash.
- Most fraudsters claim that they don’t know exactly what’s Western Union or Moneygram, but they give you very detailed instructions on how to use them to send money.
- Some girls write that they already have a work visa and a job but the only thing they need is money for the ticket. They will return it upon arrival, though.
- A girl may invent a story that she bought a ticket once and flew to your country but a guy was a no-show and now she’s out of funds to buy another ticket.
- A girl says that she will come to visit him, she even talked about it with her parents, grandparents, and friends and she has their blessing. Her family is happy that she has met such a wonderful man.
- She constantly repeats that she’s so happy they will finally meet and that he gets to hold her in his arms.
If a guy refuses to make a bank transfer:
- A girl will try to make him feel remorse by saying that she has sold all of her stuff and spent her savings on a visa, passport, and a ticket so he cannot leave her like that. She just needs those couple of hundreds of dollars.
- She says that she has no place to stay because she needs to move out, so she won’t be able to come over if he won’t send her money.
- She will assure him that this is the last trouble that prevents their true love
- She will email him erotic photos and fantasize about the upcoming nights together.
- She will call him on his cell phone. She won’t answer his calls, though, or her phone will be busy.
- She will write that the agency which has arranged her visa and a passport demands the rest of the money, and she has already signed a contract with them. If they don’t get the money on time, she will go to jail.
- She asks why he doesn’t trust her anymore. He did earlier!
- If a guy offers to visit her, she avoids the subject or makes up a story, e.g. in her hometown the attacks on tourists happen very often, so it would be better if she comes over. There may be other reasons, too.
A girl usually needs money for:
-visa & passport
-plane ticket
-new cell phone
-a caregiver for her sick mother because she will be alone when her daughter leaves
-display to airport officials, but she will return the money as soon as she arrives
Getting as much money as possible
A fraudster rarely stops with one bank transfer, trying to swindle as much money as possible. That’s why she constantly makes up new reasons to dodge her trip claiming that all she needs is another transfer.
What to expect in this stage:
- After receiving the money she informs her victim about the arranged documents, e.g. visa and she’s ready for her trip. She writes a lot about her feelings and dreams and she’s looking forward to cuddling.
In the last moment, a tragedy stops her from coming over. She creates a bunch of reasons:
- Must present the money for her accommodation to the airport officials. Asks for, let’s say, 2 000 $ which she will give back as soon as she arrives
- Needs money to book a hotel in your country, otherwise, she won’t be able to cross the border. She wasn’t aware of that before, though.
- She must pay a tax from the money he gave her otherwise she will go to jail or she won’t be able to leave the country.
- She must pay off her mortgage if she wants to leave the country. Only this way she can sell her apartment at a good price. She will return him money with interest when she comes over.
- She has been robbed on the way to the airport or from the Western Union place.
- She spent all his money on her mother’s urgent surgery and asks for another transfer.
- She had an accident and needed money for treatment. She sends him bills from the hospital and drug stores.
- She must pay commission to her realtor.
- The agency arranging her visa and passport turned out to be a fraud and ran away with her money. Now she has to start the procedure all over again and asks him for more money.
- She will usually send photos with herself holding a piece of paper with his name or a computer monitor with his picture, etc.
A fraudster invents various lies, reasons, obstacles, and stories which make it impossible to come over so she needs another money transfer. Every time she assures him of her feelings and soon they will meet at the airport.
Some of the reasons sound honest. As proof, she often sends a guy fake documents, bills, doctor’s prescriptions, photos from accident, hospital, and funeral.
She drains her victim as long as it’s possible and when he stops making transfers, a fraudster vanishes.
Is she a fraud?
You are wondering how to find out if the girl you keep in touch with wants to deceive you?
If she asks for money, you can be sure she is a scam.
You can try to find out if there are more guys like you who got her pictures. A fraudster can however download different images from the social network every time she meets another guy.
You can also search for her email address in a browser. She is capable of changing it often, though.
You can also try to find out if a girl you have met exists. The recipients of Western Union payments may change regularly, though.
That’s why...
It makes no sense...
A fraudster can be very sneaky.
True love does not arise from writing emails.
You should realize what kind of information about you makes her fall in love?
Your dating profile which she doesn’t understand because it’s written in a foreign language?
Your messages which she probably won’t read and instead of writing back she sends long, sentimental emails?
You count on her honesty all the time?
Did she Skype you regularly and paid for the trip herself?
Here comes the second most common scam used by the girls from Eastern Europe...
Matrimonial fraud of Russian and Ukrainian girls
A girl wants to get married to obtain a European Union resident card:
- A girl usually talks about a wedding because she needs a visa to stay in your country.
- Until the wedding day, she’s the most wonderful woman in the world, takes care of her fiancé, fulfills his desires in bed.
- After the wedding, she changes, becomes possessive, often insists on coming back to Russia.
- Sometimes she vanishes immediately after the wedding because she already got what she wanted – a resident card.
- In some cases, she waits until she gets her resident card (around 3 years), and during that time she makes everything to get divorced. She may call the police and report abuse or physical violence, or just becomes so unbearable for the guy that he decides to divorce her.
What happens:
- A girl keeps in touch with her Russian boyfriend who will come over as soon as she gets her resident card.
- Sometimes she cheats on her husband, treating him as her sponsor and a chance for a visa. It doesn’t happen like that at all times. However, she is the one who declared herself a loyal, family-centered creature, and now she shows her true colors, manipulates a guy, and cares about herself. Not all women from Russia are that cynical, but that’s just another reason why we should not marry someone we know only from the Internet.
Is it worth to look for a Russian wife or girlfriend online?
The answer is short and simple...
Online searching for a wife from Russia IS NOT WORTH IT.
- It’s better to avoid Russian and Ukrainian girls in marriage agencies
- It’s not worth to get in touch with the girls from Eastern Europe
- Don’t count on love when a Russian girl writes to you from an online dating site.
Taking into account such a huge number of fraudsters and crime reports it’s better to keep away from Russian online dating. Even if there was a single honest girl who’s looking for a husband and wants to move in with you, what are the odds that she will truly fall in love with you on Skype?
How can we be sure that she doesn’t want a European resident card?
If you are romantic you’ll say it’s still worth it, but...
You can end up alone with a mortgage or a loan taken by your Russian bride, which you’ll pay off for the rest of your life. That will make it financially impossible for you to get married again when you meet the right girl.
You may be charged with abuse and she will be willing to get a divorce.
A girl may ruin your mental health so much that you will never put trust in any other woman.
You will find positive online comments about Russian girls being good wives
Unfortunately, even on the biggest dating websites, you can find articles about happy men who found Eastern wives online and describe them as wonderful, beautiful, modest, and loyal.
In most cases, those articles are sponsored by the „websites with Russian girls” like www.russiancupid.com and if a guy is naive and unaware of the scam, he might fall for that.
Is every Russian girl trying to deceive you?
Do I mean that ALL girls from Russia or Ukraine are fraudsters?
No! Not at all.
Online „Russian girls” are usually guys or crime groups from Eastern Europe or Africa, and some of them live in the European Union.
So a “Russian girl” you’re talking to is someone e.g. from Nigeria who pretends to be her. It also might be a Russian guy specializing in cybercrimes.
That’s why I am not talking about REAL Russian women.
I am only warning you against online searching for a wife from abroad. There are thousands of swindled men who have made this mistake.
If you visit Russia or Ukraine regularly you have a chance to find a girl. However, you have to be prepared that unlike online, none of the girls will pick you up and start a conversation. They will not confess their love to you after a couple of messages. You’ll see that some of them aren’t so eager to visit your country, neither.
Do all girls meet online to try to deceive you?
„Russian brides” are the minority in online dating sites, nevertheless they do exist, so it’s better to watch out and avoid unnecessary trouble and disappointment.
You should also never send any money to a girl met on the Internet.
Avoid dating sites scams
While we are looking for love online, unfortunately, some people want to take advantage of it and create a fake online dating site where chances for us to find a girlfriend are very limited or equal to zero. Check the fake dating sites list to find dating apps and websites that are better to avoid.
myDates.com review - popular online dating site and APP (on Android and iOS) uses fake profiles to lure people in spending money on chatting. By reading how this website is working, you can learn how to recognize other fraud websites.
Adult dating sites scams- if you ever find a paradise website where thousands of women near your location are looking for sex, beware it may be a scam.
Have you had any experience with Russian girls? Send us feedback
If you ever had, share it in a comment section.
If you are commenting about a Russian girl for the first time, try to give at least her name, city, the website you met her on, and her email address. It will be easier to identify her by others.